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somewheredowntheroad

Bob Lefsetz -- I made his email of the day

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For those of you who read Bob Lefsetz's blog, I made one of his emails of the day.

 

He wrote a piece about Louis C.K.'s episode about the fat girl....(My response include a reference to what it feels like for me to go to a Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers concert...

 

But I can't figure out how to post my reply into this website. This new format is just too state-of-the-art for me.

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" But utilize your wiles and you can get any man you want.

Just by being truthful, honest and open.

Those are the keys to our heart.

And after our heart comes our body." Bob Lefsetz

What perfect world do you live in?

I am a funny, successful, honest to the core, overweight woman. I have many male friends who adore me. But, going on a really date, well that's tough. My boss even reminded me the other day that statistically it is more likely that I will be a victim of a terrorist attack than I will be able to find a man that will marry me. What boss says that to a skinning girl?

It takes a lot of work as a fat woman to get a man to look at you...to look beyond the X that follows the dress size...to look farther than the one piece bathing suit...to look into your irrepressible sense of humor, your zest for riding roller coasters screaming and laughing as your drop a hundred feet traveling 120 miles per hour, your successful career, to see your home that is filled with photos of those that love you, to walk through your garden that is filled with imperfect flowers at various stages of blooming, to stand next to you and experience your love of music and going to concerts where you feel the edge of Tom Petty's spotlight on the rim of your wide smiling face.

Maybe that's why I go to concerts and sit up front. Old rockers -- those that are nice men -- like Tom and the Heartbreakers. They don't look at my dress size, instead they see that I know every word to almost every song they have ever written. For two hours they see my smile, my bouncing on the balls of my feet. They hear me harmonize on the chorus of "Learning to Fly." They smile back at me. They reach down and hand me a pick, saying with that gesture that they appreciate you.

And for now I have so much else in my life (family, friends, career, published essays) that exudes love, that I don't need to be searching for more. This leads me to conclude that to avoid risking the averted eyes, the excuses from a pot-bellied middle age men with the vanishing remains of a full head of hair is the only thing to do.

Sheila Grace Stuewe

A fat woman that is so much more than what meets the eye

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