wild1forever

http://www.spinner.com/2007/12/07/12-worst-christmas-songs-no-12/ Christmas songs can reconnect us to our childhood sense of wonder, or drive us right up the freakin' chimney. For the 12 days of Christmas, we've made our lists of the naughtiest and nicest non-novelty rock-era ditties. You check 'em twice. 12. 'Santa Baby' --Madonna (1987) Madonna had been around the block far too many times to get away with playing the infuriating Betty Boop-ish ingenue. When Eartha Kitt made a case for being a good, deserving girl -- "think of all the fellas that I haven't kissed" -- it was mildly amusing. When Madonna trotted out the line, it was just another reason for Sean Penn to start throwing ornaments. 11. 'Wonderful Christmastime' --Paul McCartney (1979) Look, kids -- Daddy got a new synthesizer for Christmas! McCartney has reportedly renounced this creampuff in recent years, but the damage was already done. But you gotta give it to him: the old boy can write an irrepressible melody even when he sounds like he's puckered up from a half-dozen eggnogs 10. 'Christmastime' --The Smashing Pumpkins (1997) When Billy Corgan shrieks about feeling like a rat in a cage, he's a voice of authenticity. When he sings about the tender feelings he has for tots fawning over their presents, it's ... creepy. How close are we letting him to these kids, anyway? 9. '8 Days of Christmas' --Destiny's Child (2001) Backrubs and poems. A diamond belly ring and some quality T-I-M-E. "Doesn't it feel like Christmas?" Well, no, ladies -- it feels kinda dirty, like we're the third wheel on your No-Tell Motel weekend. The keys to a CLK Mercedes? Now, that's a sentiment we can get behind. 8. 'Santa Claus Is Comin' to Town'--Bruce Springsteen (1981) Even though he's darn near as sainted as St. Nick himself, Bruce is capable of laying the occasional lump of coal. We've got no beef with rollicking through this sloppy number live, but do radio stations really have to play it 5,000 times every December? And, yeah, we get it ... Clarence wants a new sax. 7. 'Christmas Conga'--Cyndi Lauper (1998) Seriously? After all the snow shoveling, the shlepping through the malls, the tantrum-throwing children and the drunken uncles, you really think we feel like joining a conga line? 6. 'Santa's Beard'--The Beach Boys (1964) The kid pulls the pillow out from under Santa's shirt and yanks off his beard. The whole scenario makes our stomach roll over, like an undercooked ham -- for instance, when was the last time that pillow was washed? With Brian Wilson hitting his most migraine-inducing falsetto note as he repeats the taunt ("Not Santa! Not Santa!"), we may never enter a shopping mall again. 5. 'Merry Christmas With Love'--Clay Aiken (2004) This song comes to us warmed over from an old seasonal pot luck by contemporary Christian artist Sandy Patti. Just as the lonely subject despairs that there's "no reason for trimming the tree" (Was she dumped? Lost in a remote wing of her McMansion?), the carolers remind her of the true meaning of Christmas. Was that a sigh of relief, or are you choking on your peppermint? 4. 'Merry Christmas (I Don't Wanna Fight Tonight)'--The Ramones (1989) When Joey Ramone sees trees of green -- red roses, too -- it truly does sound like a wonderful world. But when he calls out to the stray flying mammals on his tenement rooftop -- where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen? -- to help save him from another bickering Christmas, it's just too absurd. 3. 'Oi to the World'--No Doubt (1997) Covering the Vandals no doubt shored up Gwen's punk cred, and the storyline -- Hadji the Punk and Trevor the Skinhead learning to live together in harmony -- just warms the old cockles every time. But there's something about making a cutesy play on the phrase "Joy to the World" using the skinhead's "Oi!" that just doesn't sit right. 2. 'Please, Daddy (Don't Get Drunk This Christmas)'--John Denver (1975) The late Rocky Mountain troubadour sometimes introduced this song as a funny little ditty that took on more serious overtones over time. It's hard to see what could have been funny about a seven-year-old pleading with Daddy not to pass out under the tree. Not when you consider that Denver had two DUI arrests before his death in 1997. 1. 'Do They Know It's Christmas'--Band Aid (1984) File this, charitably, under Good Intentions. The cream of the U.K. pop crop -- including Bob Geldof and the guy from Spandau Ballet -- banged this out in one 24-hour session. Unfortunately, despite the heroic tub-thumping of Phil Collins, it sounds like it. And -- with lyrics like "Tonight thank God it's them, instead of you" -- you can't exactly take it out caroling.

I spent a little bit more, but definitely didn't go nuts this year.

Wrap presents. Go to 5:00 Mass. Wait for Santa to come down our street on a firetruck to hand out candy canes to the kids (so cute...they do this every year). Watch the uncut version of "It's a Wonderful Life" on DVD.

Welcome; glad to have you here!

What a mean thing to do! :013: It is nice to see the outpouring of generosity after this incident, though.

^ It's there now, Emmie. You are just TOO quick for me!

Merry Christmas Eve!

:icon_laugh: Believe me, you don't want whiny ol' me to start airing my grievances.

"It's A Wonderful Life," but I love "A Christmas Story" too.

Reasonably excited. I probably sound like a nerd, but my favorite advances pertain to how I do my job. It's astonishing how much my job has changed in only 10 years and how technology has simplified it.

I give to several charities, but I rarely if ever give to people collecting in front of stores.

Yes, I do. I think I (almost!) succeeded in my goal to not get stressed out by the season.

Happy birthday! Hope you enjoy your day.

Welcome! Good to have you here.

Happy Sunday!

Happy birthday, Ratstokill!

^^ Ref, the boyfriend is 19. I think it's rather a stretch to call her a role model, but I can see Lisa Whelchel commending her for not having an abortion.

We're at home this year, which is where we usually spend the day.

1. What's the last movie you saw? Taxi Driver on TV, for the umpteenth time. I can't believe I missed the Grinch last night!!! 2. Are you gentle? Sometimes. 3. Do you sleep with your bedroom door shut? It's open a little bit, so I can hear the kids if they wake up. 4. What's your middle name? Toni. 5. Friday fill-in: I could learn to like retirement.

I LOVED those pictures, Marion!

I've never been to the Caribbean, but that sounds good to me! I keep telling the Mr. that one of these years, I want to cancel Christmas (the shopping part, anyway) and spend the money on a trip somewhere warm and beachy. For now, the kids are too young to go along with that, though. LOL.

I'm sorry to read this, too. Because it's at an early stage, hopefully he'll ultimately be OK.

^ I figured it had to be local since one person mentioned the Catalyst. Until now, I hadn't even realized Ryan Adams played there!

TGIF!

Not to nitpick, but isn't this supposed to be a 2007 list? TPATH didn't play at the Greek this year. :confused: