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Mary Jane 49

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Posts posted by Mary Jane 49


  1. I went to the seaside for a vacation last year. The landlady said to me, 'We charge twenty pounds a night, bed and breakfast- or twelve pounds if you make your own bed.' 'Oh, all right,' I said, 'I'll make the bed.' And the landlady gave me a saw, a hammer and some nails.

    Customer: I'd like a pair of stockings for my wife.

    Storekeeper: Sheer?

    Customer: No, she's at home.

    There was a man who painted rabbits all over his bald head.

    Claimed they looked like hares from a distance.


  2. Three tourists were driving through Wales. As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter one asked the blonde employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiiiing."


  3. A woman goes into an antique shop and says to the owner, "when I was in here last week I saw a big mug with a flat head that holds a lot of beer. I'd like to buy it."

    "Sorry," replied the owner, but I can't sell you that."

    "Why not asked the customer?"

    "Because that's my husband."

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