Mary Jane 49

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he just got run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose broken, his face is bruised and he's walking with a limp. "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. "Jamie O'Conner 'n me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little turd O'Conner" says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, He must have had something in his hand" "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me with it" "Well," says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have anything in your hand?" "That I did" said Paddy. "Mrs O'Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes You Can`t Make It On Your Own ----U2

Amazing picture of the moment a British teacher was attacked by a 400lb lion This was the horrific moment a British teacher was savaged by a lion - coming within inches of death. The big cat pounced on Kate Drew from behind and dragged her to the ground, sinking its teeth into the back of her neck. As wardens on a Zimbabwe game reserve rushed to help, the 400lb lion kept the 28-year-old tourist firmly in its grip - but, mercifully, its jaws just missed her brain stem. Scroll down for more ... Mauled: With the lion's teeth sinking into her neck and its paw trying to pin her down, the moment Miss Drew thought she would die Save me: As the lion wrestles her to the ground, a game warden runs to the rescue Seconds later, she was rescued, dripping with blood. The bite wounds left her needing 13 stitches. Recalling the attack just over a month ago, Miss Drew, from Hornchurch, Essex, said she assumed she was a "goner" after the lion pounced. As it held her down, she was even more terrified to glance up and see two more lions coming her way. She was saved only when the wardens rushed in with sticks and wrestled the animal away. Scroll down for more ... Moments before the attack, Kate Drew sits alongside the lions before they turned on her It is thought the lion intended only to "play" with her after being attracted by her mane-like long blonde hair. The closeness of her brush with death sank in only after Miss Drew saw these photographs of the attack, taken by a fellow traveller. "It brings back just what a crazy experience it was," she said. "It's quite shocking to see a picture of it." Scroll down for more ... Kate Drew with bandaged head puts on a brave face after the attack The primary school headmistress had been working as a volunteer teacher in Tanzania since last September and was spending a few weeks travelling across Africa on a bus with other backpackers. As part of the trip, they visited a project where lions are bred to be released back into the wild. Tourists can pay £24 to walk with several of the big cats, which are considered tame enough to be allowed contact with humans. Scroll down for more ... Kate Drew walks alongside the lions in the baking sun Miss Drew, who is now helping at an orphanage in Peru, said: "I was a bit apprehensive, but we were just leaving and everything seemed to have gone well - until this one lion jumped at me from behind. "I was scared enough when he pinned me to the ground, but when I looked up and saw the other two, I really thought I'd had it. I thought, 'Oh my God, I'm a goner'." 50 people have commented on this story so far. Tell us what you think below. Here's a sample of the latest comments published. You can click view all to read all comments that readers have sent in. Do people not understand these are animals, you invade their territory, you wont like it, go camping in American woodlands, and then complain about bear attacks... - James, Birmingham The wardens quick reaction deserves a mention. She is not stupid, she took part in an organised activity that had been successfully enjoyed by many before her. But that's always the danger with any animal - we can domesticate any animal to some extent but we can't wipe out their inherent nature and instinct, can we? - Max, Bedford, UK Having been born and bred in Zimbabwe and spent most of my time o

I keep it all in,don`t show my feelings much at all.I do think before i speak most of the time

For me its Led Zeppelin

It doesn`t bother me at all

I prefer weekdays more than weekends because i like my routine and quietness

What are you good at? Being a wife and mother What are you not so good at? Cooking Be honest, how long do leftovers last in your house? They don`t last long Do you understand gigabytes and all that computer language mumbo jumbo? I understand more than average but less than expert If you were a dog, would you want a really long tail, or a short stumpy tail? a short stumpy tail

,It`s a mad world

Wow Thanks ,this is new to me , I am going to enjoy it !!

Thats what i was thinking when i gave my answer ,you wouldn`t save your skin by telling them anything

I will listen to them Pankie , and i`m a huge U2 fan

And 3 days after mine Mud , I`ll find out if it is on Amazon UK

Yes Pankie , thats a lovely song , but it was written by Chauncey Olcott and GeorgeGraff Jr ---2 Americans not of Irish descent

The Irish are obsessed with death,gloom and doom , it`ll be hard to find a cheerful Irish song

^ I love that song Sharon In The Year 2525-------Zager and Evans

Thanks Epiphany ,what a great thing to see!

I have my TPATH stuff all together , all the rest is in any old order

If it was about my family or my country they would have to torture me to death ,I wouldn`t tell them anything

Congrats ZZ and Lizzie , that is wonderful!!

I was apalled when i read about this in the paper this morning ,I can`t imagine how this mother must feel , the rape was bad enough and to know that it is all over the internet by now must make things a hundred times worse for her

Say cheese! The shocking moment a croc took a snap at a posing fisherman Last updated at 20:30pm on 5th March 2008 Teeth flashing and jaws wide open, a 12ft crocodile lunges at fisherman Novon Mashiah and comes crashing down on his boat, inches from its intended prey. Mr Mashiah - who moments before had been posing for a photograph with the reptile as it approached - decides it was not the brightest of ideas and hits the outboard engine to escape. Scroll down for more ... Say cheese: Novon Mashiah points towards the croc and grins for the camera Not so funny now: The croc lunges for Mr Mashiah, saved only by the size of his boat The crocodile had swum towards the boat hoping to be fed fish. "I was shocked, the animal clearly wanted to kill me," said 27-year-old Mr Mashiah. "One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture. The next minute it burst out of the water with incredible speed. "I jumped back and the croc landed on the boat and then slapped into the water. I was shaking." Mr Mashiah's friend Doron Aviguy, 22, took the photograph from a bigger boat nearby. The two Israelis are working as fishermen on the South Alligator River in the Northern Territory of Australia. Mr Mashiah said: "They come near the boat all the time, probably because we are fishing. I was laughing, but it wasn't funny in the end. I didn't realise that crocs were so aggressive." While Mr Mashiah escaped without injury in the attack, he has received a savaging from people who read his story in their local paper. "What the bloody hell did you expect, then?" asked one writer. "That the croc would jump up, put his arm around your neck and smile for the camera? What a fool you are." "What an idiot," said another blogger, pointing out that crocs eat things - "especially stupid people who get too close for a happy snap for the holiday album. Play with fire - you will get burnt." A writer called Darren commented: "What a dimwit. Considering you still have both hands, use one of them to slap yourself!"

Thats terrible news ,I hope he can beat it

Yes i thaught the same thing too

It depends on how important the thing was that i wanted ,I don`t think i`ve ever actually done that though