I don't know if there's any abuse on Tom's part I've never met him and don't know what he's like on a day-to-day basis. But I get the sense that he tries not to hurt anybody. I could be totally wrong. However, his first marriage falling apart isn't totally on Jane. As the book explains, he would spend hours touring and in the studio and not much time at home. If you categorize absenteeism as an abuse, then yes he was abusive in that sense. Ignoring his responsibilities at home and being an absentee father/husband.